The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You pole danced in your parka.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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