Ambien. No doubt about it.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
