mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
