arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am spending my child support on dildos
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
