he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
