omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
