shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
