youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
