But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Watching her eat just hurts me
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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