She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
