Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
how drunk are you?
Several
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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