i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
