when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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