You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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