I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
