And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Two words: nipple clamps
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