you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
