His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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