my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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