can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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