A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
