i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
