You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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