You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
