is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
