He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
