I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
