That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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