WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
