So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I faked an abortion last night.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
