There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
