can u get pink eye on your cock?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
