I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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