Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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