My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
