if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
