I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
