You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
