Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
