Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
