I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
