Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize