Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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