We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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