you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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