Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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