The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
