Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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