I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
