is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize