Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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