The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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