please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
