my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize