If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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