yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
