i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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