so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
